Regular readers amongst you may recall that at the end of my last post I mentioned that Karen was going to have to negotiate with Adam on the next holiday.
The good news is, its been approved – hip, hip, hooray!
However, I did have to go through an occupational health assessment by Dr S Knowles from the International Clinic for the Wellbeing of Monkeys based at Harley Street.
Dr Knowles’ recommendation was: “We note that the combination of his travels alongside his supervisory duties at work have led to some tiredness which left unchecked could be detrimental to his wellbeing. Therefore we recommend a period of recuperation at a spa facility, focusing on plenty of rest. Ideally this would be at a seaside location for maximum benefit. We particularly recommend September as an ideal month in which this period of rest should take place.”
When Adam read this he was rather concerned, primarily as he hadn’t heard of the International Clinic for the Wellbeing of Monkeys (and he wonders why he no longer has custody). As well as this, he also raised the following concerns:
“1) Following Monkey’s trip to Nottingham (17 May 2015) he returned very distressed and I noticed bruising around his head. Photographic evidence suggests that Monkey was mistreated. I would tend to think that the findings of your review may be bias?
2) Whilst your clinic logo is very impressive, is it really appropriate for a Monkey who is less mobile in the leg department?”
Dr Knowles was quick to respond, advising of the following:
“1) We’re an internationally renowned clinic but as we only cater for elite clients we don’t advertise our services hence you not being able to find our clinic on the lists you have searched. Please rest assured that we are both experienced and insured for treating our clients.
2) We are aware of the incident in Nottingham to which you refer. Having extensively studied the photographs and questioned Monkey at length we are satisfied that his escapade of being upside down head first in a drinks bottle was entirely of his own doing and no mistreatment occurred. His behaviour, whilst misguided, does fit with a primate of his age and experience. The distress was a result of believing he would get into trouble and denied his daily banana treat. We examined his head for bruising and are satisfied that no lasting damage has occurred.
3) We aim to be a fully inclusive clinic. Although Monkey does not have the running capabilities as detailed in our logo, he is clearly a very active monkey as evidenced from his travels.”
Dr Knowles also pointed out that “well rested monkeys tend to make much more productive employees.”
In response, Adam was “pleased to approve an executive break in September. He also said that he would hold the International Clinic for the Wellbeing of Monkeys personally liable if any issues arise or if I do not see an increase in Monkey’s productivity following said break.”
So, it was touch and go for a while but, in the end, worth the effort as I now get to go to Karen’s favourite hotel which is The Scarlet Hotel in Cornwall. Her favourite picture is below (September will be her sixth visit).